How to Help an Alcoholic

The best way to help an alcoholic is indirectly. This means that you shouldn't try to directly make them do anything. Do not try to beg them to stop drinking. Don't scream at them or try to guilt them or get into a yelling match with them. None of these strategies really work at all. At best these ploys will create false hope before they fail to work. At worst they drive the alcoholic deeper into drinking and isolation. If you've come to this point then you will want to understand how to help an alcoholic.


The first idea for you to grasp in attempting to help the alcoholic is that they are eventually going to make a decision to change for themselves, or they will not change at all. But the important thing for you to realize is that the decision must come from them. You and others cannot take this crucial step for them. Not you, not the police, not a judge, no one.

The second thing that you need to come to grips with is that change for the typical alcoholic is generally prompted by pain and misery. Unfortunately this is the way it has to be. The alcoholic will finally decide that they have had enough pain and misery in their life and decide it is time for change. This is the only driving force that makes real change. You could promise them a life of paradise if they quit drinking and this will do nothing to motivate them. The motivation has to come from pain and fear and misery.

Given both of these concepts, you can probably tell where this is headed. The most important thing for you to concentrate on in attempting to give addiction help to an alcoholic is that you should never try to deny the alcoholic of their pain. The struggling alcoholic is caught in a cycle of both good times and bad times with their drinking episodes, and you should do your best to get out of the way and allow them to face their own consequences. For example, if an alcoholic gets loaded on the weekends and can't make it to work on Monday morning, they might lose their job. Let them throw it away. Do not make a huge effort to correct their screw ups or help them avoid their own consequences. This is part of their pain and you should not deny them of it. Doing so will keep them drunk. Let them throw it away experience their pain and they might just sober up some day.This is potentially the most effective way to help an alcoholic.