Beating alcohol addiction is a process that occurs in 2 stages. Early recovery and long term sobriety (the rest of your life) are the stages that make up your recovery journey.
The first part of recovery is the initial shocking experience of sobriety where you are overwhelmed because you are suddenly sober and no longer self medicating. This is what I would refer to as early recovery. There is no specific amount of time that someone might take in this stage of their sobriety; some alcoholics are going to be in it for a few months and for others it might take a lot longer. But regardless, there is certainly a rough period in early recovery when the best you can do is cling to your new sobriety and simply not drink each day. This stage of recovery is very different from when you have been sober for a few years or even for several months.
One key in terms of recovering from alcohol addiction is the drive to learn new things about how to live successfully. You have to relearn how to do the most basic things in your life without alcohol. This might sound quite trivial but in fact it can be quite an ordeal. Addiction help is all about learning so you have to be open to new ideas and concepts and remain teachable if you're going to stay sober for long. That means that you have to be receptive to learning new things on a day to day basis. If you are arrogant when it comes to learning you will not succeed in early recovery.
Another key to early sobriety is in connecting with other people who are also recovering. This is why 12 step meetings are so popular and helpful in early recovery. We need other people in recovery who are experiencing what we are in order to gain information and hope from them. This is part of the educational experience as well...it is hard to learn new things if there is nobody to instruct you. In early sobriety, our peer group is how we learn new things based on their experience, strength, and hope that they share.
The third key to overcoming alcohol addiction is the pursuit of personal growth. You're realize that this also compares well with learning and they two are actually very similar. But your holistic growth path is more than just learning new things, it is also about finding a reason for life itself and helping others. An example of this could be a regular exercise program that someone in recovery might use as an important pillar of their recovery strategy. This isn't just about learning new stuff but is also just a good habit in general that can be a crucial part of sobriety.
Friday, February 27, 2009
How to Help an Alcoholic
The best way to help an alcoholic is indirectly. This means that you shouldn't try to directly make them do anything. Do not try to beg them to stop drinking. Don't scream at them or try to guilt them or get into a yelling match with them. None of these strategies really work at all. At best these ploys will create false hope before they fail to work. At worst they drive the alcoholic deeper into drinking and isolation. If you've come to this point then you will want to understand how to help an alcoholic.
The first idea for you to grasp in attempting to help the alcoholic is that they are eventually going to make a decision to change for themselves, or they will not change at all. But the important thing for you to realize is that the decision must come from them. You and others cannot take this crucial step for them. Not you, not the police, not a judge, no one.
The second thing that you need to come to grips with is that change for the typical alcoholic is generally prompted by pain and misery. Unfortunately this is the way it has to be. The alcoholic will finally decide that they have had enough pain and misery in their life and decide it is time for change. This is the only driving force that makes real change. You could promise them a life of paradise if they quit drinking and this will do nothing to motivate them. The motivation has to come from pain and fear and misery.
Given both of these concepts, you can probably tell where this is headed. The most important thing for you to concentrate on in attempting to give addiction help to an alcoholic is that you should never try to deny the alcoholic of their pain. The struggling alcoholic is caught in a cycle of both good times and bad times with their drinking episodes, and you should do your best to get out of the way and allow them to face their own consequences. For example, if an alcoholic gets loaded on the weekends and can't make it to work on Monday morning, they might lose their job. Let them throw it away. Do not make a huge effort to correct their screw ups or help them avoid their own consequences. This is part of their pain and you should not deny them of it. Doing so will keep them drunk. Let them throw it away experience their pain and they might just sober up some day.This is potentially the most effective way to help an alcoholic.
The first idea for you to grasp in attempting to help the alcoholic is that they are eventually going to make a decision to change for themselves, or they will not change at all. But the important thing for you to realize is that the decision must come from them. You and others cannot take this crucial step for them. Not you, not the police, not a judge, no one.
The second thing that you need to come to grips with is that change for the typical alcoholic is generally prompted by pain and misery. Unfortunately this is the way it has to be. The alcoholic will finally decide that they have had enough pain and misery in their life and decide it is time for change. This is the only driving force that makes real change. You could promise them a life of paradise if they quit drinking and this will do nothing to motivate them. The motivation has to come from pain and fear and misery.
Given both of these concepts, you can probably tell where this is headed. The most important thing for you to concentrate on in attempting to give addiction help to an alcoholic is that you should never try to deny the alcoholic of their pain. The struggling alcoholic is caught in a cycle of both good times and bad times with their drinking episodes, and you should do your best to get out of the way and allow them to face their own consequences. For example, if an alcoholic gets loaded on the weekends and can't make it to work on Monday morning, they might lose their job. Let them throw it away. Do not make a huge effort to correct their screw ups or help them avoid their own consequences. This is part of their pain and you should not deny them of it. Doing so will keep them drunk. Let them throw it away experience their pain and they might just sober up some day.This is potentially the most effective way to help an alcoholic.
Drug Addiction Help for Addicts and Alcoholics
Getting drug addiction help will involve contacting either professional services of some sort or a 12 step treatment program. That is what is available out there when it comes to getting help for addiction. The professional services will include things such as in-patient and residential treatment centers that might include a full medical detox as well. But in addition to treatment, there is also help to be had in the form of counseling and group therapy.
Many people might use these types of services after they leave treatment as a form of aftercare.
It can be quite a struggle to get someone else to take action and do something about their problem and ultimately you will find that we cannot really change anyone, only ourselves. Nevertheless, our own actions can have an influence on the future choices and behavior of the struggling addict in our life.
For example, we have to stop enabling addicts if we happen to play a part in their drinking or using. This includes bailing them out of problem situations or covering up for them if they screw up because of their drinking or using. We can affect the life of the struggling addict by changing our behavior to not support their addict lifestyle.
Unfortunately this is what some addicts need in order to start considering the possibility of change. If an addict does not experience misery in their life then they will not be likely to make a decision to do anything different. So we learn from our experience in attempting to help addicts that we should not deny them of their own consequences and misery. It is not the case that we have to try extra hard to deceive them or manipulate them in any way - we only have to let them make their own mistakes and deal with the mess that they make for themselves.
Trying to give addiction help to a drug addict or alcoholic is not an easy thing to do and for some people it can be downright tricky. The bottom line is that you should never help an addict who is trying to set their own terms - when they are ready for real change they will be willing to accept the help on your terms instead. We can still make a difference in the life of an addict but usually it is not a direct difference. Instead we have to work on our own actions so that we can be consistent in not enabling them or depriving them of the pain that they create.
Many people might use these types of services after they leave treatment as a form of aftercare.
It can be quite a struggle to get someone else to take action and do something about their problem and ultimately you will find that we cannot really change anyone, only ourselves. Nevertheless, our own actions can have an influence on the future choices and behavior of the struggling addict in our life.
For example, we have to stop enabling addicts if we happen to play a part in their drinking or using. This includes bailing them out of problem situations or covering up for them if they screw up because of their drinking or using. We can affect the life of the struggling addict by changing our behavior to not support their addict lifestyle.
Unfortunately this is what some addicts need in order to start considering the possibility of change. If an addict does not experience misery in their life then they will not be likely to make a decision to do anything different. So we learn from our experience in attempting to help addicts that we should not deny them of their own consequences and misery. It is not the case that we have to try extra hard to deceive them or manipulate them in any way - we only have to let them make their own mistakes and deal with the mess that they make for themselves.
Trying to give addiction help to a drug addict or alcoholic is not an easy thing to do and for some people it can be downright tricky. The bottom line is that you should never help an addict who is trying to set their own terms - when they are ready for real change they will be willing to accept the help on your terms instead. We can still make a difference in the life of an addict but usually it is not a direct difference. Instead we have to work on our own actions so that we can be consistent in not enabling them or depriving them of the pain that they create.
What are the Basics of Helping an Addict?
How can we give addiction help to a struggling drug addict or alcoholic?
To start with, one thing that can be helpful is for you to modify your behavior towards them in a healthy manner. What you want to do is act in a truly healthy manner and to do this you must not enable them in any way. This means that you will have to take a firm stance when it comes to "helping" the addict and be more careful about what is genuine addiction help versus what is enabling them. For example, if a struggling addict has children and they come over and beg for money so that they can provide for their children - do you give it to them? Most people would argue that it is compassion to give people money, especially if it is for children, but understand that doing so enables the addict and will only hurt the kids more in the long run. Because they are actively using drugs and alcohol, the money you give them is actually supporting their habit, even if indirectly. Just because they played the "kids" angle on you does not mean that they are not still wasting money on dope.
So there are usually codependency issues involved when it comes to a struggling addict and the best thing for the people involved is to get healthy and set some boundaries. Make it very clear what your boundaries are by telling the addict what you will not allow in your life and also tell them what you will do if these requests are ignored. If you are confused about how to go about setting boundaries then you should start by going to an Al-anon group. The people there will assist you in your struggle with the addict in your life and they can tell you how to act in a positive way so you are no longer enabling anyone.
Helping an addict can be unnatural to some because in most cases we need to put our foot down and let them experience some pain in their life instead of rescuing them whenever they run into trouble.
To start with, one thing that can be helpful is for you to modify your behavior towards them in a healthy manner. What you want to do is act in a truly healthy manner and to do this you must not enable them in any way. This means that you will have to take a firm stance when it comes to "helping" the addict and be more careful about what is genuine addiction help versus what is enabling them. For example, if a struggling addict has children and they come over and beg for money so that they can provide for their children - do you give it to them? Most people would argue that it is compassion to give people money, especially if it is for children, but understand that doing so enables the addict and will only hurt the kids more in the long run. Because they are actively using drugs and alcohol, the money you give them is actually supporting their habit, even if indirectly. Just because they played the "kids" angle on you does not mean that they are not still wasting money on dope.
So there are usually codependency issues involved when it comes to a struggling addict and the best thing for the people involved is to get healthy and set some boundaries. Make it very clear what your boundaries are by telling the addict what you will not allow in your life and also tell them what you will do if these requests are ignored. If you are confused about how to go about setting boundaries then you should start by going to an Al-anon group. The people there will assist you in your struggle with the addict in your life and they can tell you how to act in a positive way so you are no longer enabling anyone.
Helping an addict can be unnatural to some because in most cases we need to put our foot down and let them experience some pain in their life instead of rescuing them whenever they run into trouble.
Helping Others with Addiction
Drug addiction can affect nearly anyone because it has so many different avenues of attack these days. You have got young people and college students who are smoking dope. There is a lot of peer pressure to drink alcohol in our culture and there is opportunity to do so almost everywhere these days. Then of course there are opiates, which have surpassed Marijuana as being the new gateway drug for today's youth. Opiates have become more popular than smoking dope among today's youth.
So now that we know that addiction is quite common and destructive, how can we go about helping those who might be caught up in it? How can we offer addiction help to those who are caught up in this deadly cycle?
The first tactic is for you to talk to the addict. In some cases though this is really hard to pull off as some addicts will take your helpful attempt more as a threat and so you might have to reconsider if it is actually a good decision. In some cases you might want to just maintain the peace but at other times if someone is truly out of control or a danger to themselves then you must set those fears aside and confront them anyway. The goal is to see them get addiction help, not to stand by and watch them self destruct.
There is no real way of avoiding a confrontation as there is no method to get them to ask for help indirectly. If you want to see someone change then you must talk to them about it. Formal interventions can be useful in some cases but they rarely pan out as well as planned. In some cases they might be the breakthrough everyone was hoping for, but more likely they will be a step on the path to sobriety, and might not be a magic bullet just because you got the whole family involved. They can be successful in some cases but do not expect a miraculous turnaround right away because that is usually not the case.
So now that we know that addiction is quite common and destructive, how can we go about helping those who might be caught up in it? How can we offer addiction help to those who are caught up in this deadly cycle?
The first tactic is for you to talk to the addict. In some cases though this is really hard to pull off as some addicts will take your helpful attempt more as a threat and so you might have to reconsider if it is actually a good decision. In some cases you might want to just maintain the peace but at other times if someone is truly out of control or a danger to themselves then you must set those fears aside and confront them anyway. The goal is to see them get addiction help, not to stand by and watch them self destruct.
There is no real way of avoiding a confrontation as there is no method to get them to ask for help indirectly. If you want to see someone change then you must talk to them about it. Formal interventions can be useful in some cases but they rarely pan out as well as planned. In some cases they might be the breakthrough everyone was hoping for, but more likely they will be a step on the path to sobriety, and might not be a magic bullet just because you got the whole family involved. They can be successful in some cases but do not expect a miraculous turnaround right away because that is usually not the case.
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